Post by Anoushka bint Amir on Aug 13, 2009 5:55:53 GMT -5
It's nighttime again as I sit here with pen and paper, ink well beside me. I'm old fashioned, some say its a dying quality, some despise my antiquated views. I like bowing, chivalry, oil paints and cathedrals. Well, the way they look, not the people inside. I've arrived in Bon Temps from New Orleans, my old home. I lived in the French Quarter since 1925 up until now, a lovely part of the city that wasn't hit by the hurricane. I know many vampires showed their faces in NO after Katrina, humans vulnerable for the picking, vultures circling over carcasses. I feel my humanity wither as I grow older, but it soon gets ignited when I call Marym or think of Fatimah. Yes, I have never forgotten what happened 2,000 years ago, I never will. My only offspring I had to leave, I only hope she forgave me. As I sit here in this hotel room on a velvet duvet, I think to myself: What if she had come along with me. What if Marym or I had turned her, what would it be like now. I have asked myself this throughout the ages, and even questioned My maker in Madrid in 1521 with that question. She didn't have an answer. I've been left unsatisfied by that lingering thought, just what if I turned Fatimah and didn't leave her there in Egpyt. It can't be changed, of course. I may live forever but I can't turn back time.
The candle next to me keeps flickering, one thing old fashioned that gets quite annoying. There, better. I turned on the table side lamp for a little more light. I think I may stay to watch sunrise today. I've done that over the years, stay up past my bedtime and watch the sunrise for a few minutes, feeling my skin burning and the sun hurt my eyes, but it's a phenomenal experience. I'd always crawl back into coffin with Maryam when I had enough, but I always yearned for more. I miss the sunlight. I've been so accustomed to moonlight my skin and eyes can't bear it. But it's so, primal. Ancient and savage in the most lustful ways. I know why the we used to worship the sun, it was life itself. Ra was the lifegiver, the crops grew because of him and let the evil, dark night be washed away. It was Apollo on his chariot of gold ushering Nyx away to bring the new day, banishing the forsaken goddess to the recesses of the heavens until Apollo would tire and call for her again, she and her children the stars lighting the day. What am I talking about, I philosophize too much. Well, when you've have centuries to think of these things, one becomes rather intelligent and introspective. I've learned to read multiple languages, play the sitar, violin and cello. recite poetry and prose and even memorize The Inferno.
I chuckle to myself thinking of the things I did in Florence and Venice, the culture. The Renaissance was an amazing time. I even had my portrait done by a few painters. They weren't the famous ones we know now, but they were quite good. I think they are still in Florence, I believe. We had to flee our home there when they found out what we were, leave everything we had except our boxes of jewelry, a few dresses and some books. Everything else was burned except what lay in the cellar; My portrait. I've always wanted to go back to Florence and find it, but I imagine some archeologist found it and named me "The Moorish Woman of Florence" or something silly like that. Yes, very silly these humans are, and yet very curious. Especially those 'fangbangers', or whatever they call humans courting vampires these days. They yearn for our power, to be desired by something so powerful like a vampire. I don't know if I could ever fall for a human. I could love them yes, only if I fell for one. They don't understand our struggles as immortals, we've lived ages and they only a tick on the clock of the universe. I've always been with one vampire, my maker this entire time, and we've split up over 100 years ago. I think it, how must I say this, love again? I don't have to, but I think it would be nice to have another cold body against mine. I do get lonely, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. But, the problem is, I've never found a vampire other than Maryam as old or older than me. The vampires here are all infants, under 600 most of them. There is one older than that, Eric Northman, the sheriff of this area. I've heard he's much younger than me, but older than these newborns. I'll have to make myself known to him soon, but the sun is now rising. I'll go click the shutters and retire to this bed. Good day diary.
The candle next to me keeps flickering, one thing old fashioned that gets quite annoying. There, better. I turned on the table side lamp for a little more light. I think I may stay to watch sunrise today. I've done that over the years, stay up past my bedtime and watch the sunrise for a few minutes, feeling my skin burning and the sun hurt my eyes, but it's a phenomenal experience. I'd always crawl back into coffin with Maryam when I had enough, but I always yearned for more. I miss the sunlight. I've been so accustomed to moonlight my skin and eyes can't bear it. But it's so, primal. Ancient and savage in the most lustful ways. I know why the we used to worship the sun, it was life itself. Ra was the lifegiver, the crops grew because of him and let the evil, dark night be washed away. It was Apollo on his chariot of gold ushering Nyx away to bring the new day, banishing the forsaken goddess to the recesses of the heavens until Apollo would tire and call for her again, she and her children the stars lighting the day. What am I talking about, I philosophize too much. Well, when you've have centuries to think of these things, one becomes rather intelligent and introspective. I've learned to read multiple languages, play the sitar, violin and cello. recite poetry and prose and even memorize The Inferno.
I chuckle to myself thinking of the things I did in Florence and Venice, the culture. The Renaissance was an amazing time. I even had my portrait done by a few painters. They weren't the famous ones we know now, but they were quite good. I think they are still in Florence, I believe. We had to flee our home there when they found out what we were, leave everything we had except our boxes of jewelry, a few dresses and some books. Everything else was burned except what lay in the cellar; My portrait. I've always wanted to go back to Florence and find it, but I imagine some archeologist found it and named me "The Moorish Woman of Florence" or something silly like that. Yes, very silly these humans are, and yet very curious. Especially those 'fangbangers', or whatever they call humans courting vampires these days. They yearn for our power, to be desired by something so powerful like a vampire. I don't know if I could ever fall for a human. I could love them yes, only if I fell for one. They don't understand our struggles as immortals, we've lived ages and they only a tick on the clock of the universe. I've always been with one vampire, my maker this entire time, and we've split up over 100 years ago. I think it, how must I say this, love again? I don't have to, but I think it would be nice to have another cold body against mine. I do get lonely, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. But, the problem is, I've never found a vampire other than Maryam as old or older than me. The vampires here are all infants, under 600 most of them. There is one older than that, Eric Northman, the sheriff of this area. I've heard he's much younger than me, but older than these newborns. I'll have to make myself known to him soon, but the sun is now rising. I'll go click the shutters and retire to this bed. Good day diary.
