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Post by Sam Merlotte on Sept 16, 2009 18:37:53 GMT -5
Sam took the jeans from Brandy and slipped them on, making sure not to get anything caught in the zipper. He looked over at her and she was just smiling at him, lost in her own world.
Deciding she didn't need to change, Brandy put her hand out to Sam and he took it happily. Walking at a nice easy pace through the woods towards Sam's truck. It just felt so nice, so pleasant and it was almost as if the previous nights events had never happened and they were just a couple out enjoying the early morning sunshine.
Something made Brandy stop and Sam felt one of her hands on his bare chest. She let go of his hand and moved forward cautiously.
"Holy sh!t Sam, come look at this! Can you see that??!"
Sam moved closer to her, walking as quietly as he could and scanned the woods for whatever it was she saw. What he did see, made his eyes almost pop out of there sockets.
"Oh my god Sam, I think that guy is trying to screw that tree! Scratch that, I think he is screwing that tree!"
Sam nodded, not able to take his eyes away. It was like a horrific road accident. You know it's wrong to stare, but something compells you to keep looking anyway.
"Holy sh*t, that's Mike Spencer!"
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Post by Brandy Berry on Sept 16, 2009 19:09:25 GMT -5
"Holy sh*t, that's Mike Spencer!"
Brandy looked shocked! She looked from Sam, to the truck, to the tree, and back to Mike.
"Mike Spencer!!??!! Wait, who is Mike Spencer?"
Brandy didn't know Mike from a hole in the wall, but Sam sure did! Whoever the guy was, did he usually make a habit out of molesting tree's in the middle of the night?
"Should we like.. call someone? Try to wake him up or something? I don't imagine that is going to be very comfortable for him once he gets his d!ck out of that hole..."
As if it was on display, she pointed toward it, clenching her teeth and quirking her eyebrow. Who was she kidding? Sam could obviously sympathize with the man more than she could!
"Do.. do you think he meant to do that? I can't imagine something like that being pleasurable at all.."
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Post by Sam Merlotte on Sept 16, 2009 19:30:42 GMT -5
"Mike Spencer!!??!! Wait, who is Mike Spencer?"
Sam turned to Brandy, after reaching for his navy blue Merlotte's t-shirt, pulling it over his head, patting down any creases. "Mike Spencer is the local Funeral Director and also works part time as a Coroner."
"Should we like.. call someone? Try to wake him up or something? I don't imagine that is going to be very comfortable for him once he gets his d!ck out of that hole..."
Sam nodded, it was sure an awkward situation to be in. But Sam wasn't the type of guy to ignore someone in trouble. Least of all one of the locals. Mike Spencer was an admittedly strange guy, but not the kind of guy that went around having intercourse with trees. That was taking nature loving to a whole new absurd level.
"Do.. do you think he meant to do that? I can't imagine something like that being pleasurable at all.."
Sam couldn't quite get his words out at first. This was a new and very weird scenario to be placed in and considering the world he lived in, that was saying a lot.
"I...I don't know. He looks happy" Sam tried not to laugh as the pleasured look on Mike Spencers face said it all. "I'll call Sheriff Dearborne to come get him." Sam padded his pockets for his cell, before realising it was in the glove compartment of his truck.
"Mike?" Sam said, calling out to the grey haired man. "Mike you okay? I'm gonna call Bud, Mike. He'll come get you."
"He can't have any!" the Coroner replied, slurring his words. "This baby is all mine. He can go find another hottie." he patted and caressed the tree lovingly.
"Jesus, Mike will you stop it." Sam said almost embarassed as he made his way over to his truck and pulled out the keys to get inside. Opening the glove box, he pulled out his cell phone and dialled the Sheriff's office.
"Hi, this is Sam Merlotte. I'd like to report uh...." he paused trying to think of what the hell it was he'd just witnessed. "a minor accident. Yeah, at the woods just by the lake. It's Mike Spencer. Look, just get someone down here fast. Thank you." and he hung up and slipped his phone in his back pocket with a sigh.
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Post by Brandy Berry on Sept 16, 2009 19:53:30 GMT -5
"Mike Spencer is the local Funeral Director and also works part time as a Coroner."
"You know.. that just makes this scenario a whole new kind of wrong Sam"
A funeral director and a coroner, what an interesting job title. Brandy was glad she hadn't known Mike Spencer before hand - that would make this whole scene just that much more uncomfortable.
When Brandy asked if it was pleasurable and Sam mentioned it looked like he was having a good time, Brandy doubled over in laughter. So much so, that she had to steady her hand on the truck because she didn't want to lose her balance.
That made her stomach hurt.
"Mike you okay? I'm gonna call Bud, Mike. He'll come get you."
"He can't have any! this baby is all mine. He can go find another hottie."
Oh lord, that didn't do much to stop Brandy's laughter at all. You could probably hear her laughing over Sam's phone call to the sheriff and that made the situation even more hilarious. When Sam hung up the phone, Brandy had shot him a 'look'.
"I told you I felt something strange in the air last night... you can't tell me what he is doing is normal..."
So much for that early breakfast, Brandy didn't think the two should leave until the cops had arrived and hauled poor drunk Mr.Spencer into the drunk tank. Hopefully to sleep it off...
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Post by Sam Merlotte on Sept 17, 2009 8:45:37 GMT -5
"I told you I felt something strange in the air last night... you can't tell me what he is doing is normal..."
Sam nodded and looked over at a very horny Mike Spencer. Sam was really glad he still had his d*ck in the hole in the tree. Last thing he needed was Mike Spencer commiting indecent exposure with Brandy there. "Definetly not normal."
It wasn't too long till Bud and Kenya arrived on the scene. Bud looking very flustered and embarassed. Kenya didn't know wether to laugh or cry. Both probably.
"Mike, we need you to come with us." Bud said gently, taking off his Sherriff's hat and covering Mike's modesty with it. Kenya escorted him to the squad car and Bud stayed behind to ask some questions.
"So, uh you were the only two people out here when Mike was uh....fornicating the tree."
Sam forced back a smile, trying to look serious in not entirely serious circumstances. "Uh, yeah Bud. Just Brandy and I. We were just out on an early morning stroll. Ya know how it is." he looked to Brandy for a little help in elaborating the story.
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Post by Brandy Berry on Sept 17, 2009 9:02:15 GMT -5
It was exactly as expected, you didn't want to stare but you couldn't look away. Brandy was sort of.. behind Sam and peeking over his shoulder until she heard the sound of a police car drive up. Two new people for her to meet, it wasn't exactly time for introductions however, as Kenya pretty much offered the same reaction as Brandy had - and Bud was flustered to all hell.
"Mike, we need you to come with us."
All Brandy could think of was how she would of ended up burning that hat. Her brown eyes watched Mike being escorted to the police car with a Kenya just shaking her head. One thing Brandy was not used to, was being questioned by the police.
Bud had returned to do just that.
"So, uh you were the only two people out here when Mike was uh....fornicating the tree."
Sam answered right away, Brandy was trying to stifle her laughter into Sam's shoulder. The whole scene, was just hilarious to her - and the fact that Sam was trying to maintain his composure made it all the more entertaining.
"Uh, yeah Bud. Just Brandy and I. We were just out on an early morning stroll. Ya know how it is."
Sam had moved his body to look toward Brandy, he was looking at her with those 'back up my story eyes. She wanted to just open her mouth and say something about having crazy sex at the lake all night long and then falling asleep on the docks. Only one half of that story was actually true.
"Right. Early morning stroll sir, we don't make habits of fornicating trees. Only each other."
At that time, Brandy had no idea how bad that must of sounded...
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Post by Sam Merlotte on Sept 17, 2009 10:52:16 GMT -5
"Right. Early morning stroll sir, we don't make habits of fornicating trees. Only each other."
Sam closed his eyes in an 'oh hell' type of way. Though he reckoned with Brandy's sense of humour, it could have been way worse.
Bud raised a questioning eyebrow and coughed not so subtley in his feelings of awkwardness. "Well, uh I'll leave ya both to it. Gotta get Mike back to the station, let him cool off." he went to tip his hat but frowned as he realised exactly where his hat was. He did a sort of salute with two fingers against his forehead. "See ya both around."
Sam smiled at Bud innocently. "If there's anything else y'need. Just call into the bar and we can talk there." He couldn't wait for Bud to leave, he was fit to burst.
Bud nodded, "I don't think we'll need anything else, but I'll keep it in mind." he turned towards the car and walked over to it.
Sam turned round to face Brandy, a moment of silence and then he let all the pent out laughter out. "Oh God...Not quite the introduction to one of the locals I was hoping for"
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Post by Brandy Berry on Sept 17, 2009 11:15:41 GMT -5
Brandy was looking at Sam just as he closed his eyes in that 'oh hell' type of way. Did she say something wrong? Knowing Brandy, she probably did - but she could of said oh so much worse...
"Well, uh I'll leave ya both to it. Gotta get Mike back to the station, let him cool off."
"Of course sir, best to let him sleep it off - but keep him away from the steel bars, I don't think that will make anybody that comfortable..."
Bud had reached for his hat which wasn't there, and then gave a slight departure with his fingers. Sam added one more thing before the sheriff went on his way.
"If there's anything else y'need. Just call into the bar and we can talk there."
"I don't think we'll need anything else, but I'll keep it in mind."
Both Brandy and Sam were silent until Bud was in the car and they had driven away. Brandy had remained silent, slowly turning toward Sam just as he erupted into laughter.
God d@mn - it was about time!!
"Oh God...Not quite the introduction to one of the locals I was hoping for"
"This town makes us look normal."
Brandy was a little standoffish about going anywhere near that tree, but she had no choice if she wanted to get into the passenger side. Not that sitting in Sam's lap while he was driving wasn't tempting...
"Alright, so where were we? Right.. breakfast. Let's get going before we run into another local.. "
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Post by Sam Merlotte on Sept 17, 2009 11:49:49 GMT -5
"This town makes us look normal."
Brandy said, still laughter in her voice. Sam was nodding along, a huge grin on his face. "You think he's bad? Wait till you meet Jane Bodehouse."
Sam walked round to the passenger side and opened the door. "Your chariot awaits" Sam looked away, Well that sounded better in my head." he turned back with a smile, hoping Mike Spencer wasn't the only Bon Temps resident being laughed at.
"Alright, so where were we? Right.. breakfast. Let's get going before we run into another local.. "
"Breakfast sounds good. I'm starved." Sam smiled at the idea of getting some food. Sharing a table with his girl and just enjoying there last few hours together. "Should be a few places open by now."
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Post by Brandy Berry on Sept 17, 2009 12:26:34 GMT -5
"You think he's bad? Wait till you meet Jane Bodehouse."
Brandy didn't know if she should ask, if there was something worse than having sex with a tree - Brandy preferred not knowing.
As if Sam wasn't a gentlemen enough, he had actually beat her to the passenger side door and opened it for her. Every day it seemed he was surprising her, and every day she just fell more and more in love with him.
"Your chariot awaits"
Brandy smiled, walking over to him she slipped past him and into the seat. He could of put her in a potato sack and called that the chariot and she would of still been happy. Didn't take much, apparently.
"Breakfast sounds good. I'm starved. Should be a few places open by now."
Brandy slipped on her seat belt, she had the strangest craving for buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup. Thinking of maple syrup made her look at that tree.
Skip the syrup.
"You know, the best places to get a good hearty breakfast are the trucker-stop restaurants. You get lots of food for a little price, as long as you don't mind the lustful glances from the lonely' old truckers.."
Brandy smirked toward Sam.
"And yes, hun, they will even give those glances to you"
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Post by Sam Merlotte on Sept 17, 2009 12:48:13 GMT -5
"You know, the best places to get a good hearty breakfast are the trucker-stop restaurants. You get lots of food for a little price,
Sam nodded with a smile, truck stops get a bad rep. But if you're tired and hungry and want something quick. You can do worse.
...as long as you don't mind the lustful glances from the lonely' old truckers.."
He pulled a face. But so long as they didn't actually touch her or make lewd suggestions. He'd be okay.
"And yes, hun, they will even give those glances to you"
Sam did a double take as he climbed aboard the drivers side of his truck. "The what now?" it was such a mischevious comment to make. "Yeah right." he smirked and put his keys into the ignition and backed the truck out and onto the road.
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Post by Brandy Berry on Sept 17, 2009 13:07:25 GMT -5
Brandy had her slender hands on the dash, drumming away with her hands as she eyed the radio in his truck. They never actually listened to music that much together - but usually Brandy was too busy talking to really consider turning the thing on.
"The what now?"
She was about to repeat what she had said, until his next comment made it obvious that he had heard her. She was watching outside the window as he backed up and brought the truck toward the road.
"Hey now, when you have some greasy 6'2 trucker dude with 'Mom" tattooed on his right bicep checking you out - don't say I didn't warn you"
Once on the highway, it didn't take long for a truck stop to loom up ahead. It was a typical restaurant, with a gas station, and about 6 big rigs parked in the rather large parking lot.
"We should go in there, you can even see the advertisement for the $6.00 grand slam. Pancakes, sausages, and eggs.. do you think they have chocolate chip pancakes?"
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Post by Sam Merlotte on Sept 17, 2009 13:22:29 GMT -5
"Hey now, when you have some greasy 6'2 trucker dude with 'Mom" tattooed on his right bicep checking you out - don't say I didn't warn you"
Sam laughed at the suggestion. Shaking his head and looking straight ahead. "I don't think I'm quite there type" Sam cut his words short as he noticed a truck stop coming over the horizon.
"We should go in there, you can even see the advertisement for the $6.00 grand slam. Pancakes, sausages, and eggs.. do you think they have chocolate chip pancakes?"
Smile turned slightly to smile at Brandy. "You took the words outta my head. I'm hungry enough to be able to eat truck stop slop." he pondered her question about the pancakes. "Well, I don't know." he replied innocently. "Only one way to find out."
Sam turned the truck into the stop and looked for somewhere to park. Finding the right spot adjacent to the furthest away rig and close enough to the building to see his old Dodge from inside.
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Post by Brandy Berry on Sept 17, 2009 13:36:48 GMT -5
"I don't think I'm quite there type"
"Well, you are certainly my type. Maybe the whole town's type with the way you fill in a nice pair of blue jeans"
Meaning, the women of course - there were times that even she heard some of the older women in Merlotte's mumble underneath their breath when Sam walked away. She wondered why no one had been as bold as her, then again, Sam wasn't the type of guy to exactly fall in love on the first date..
.. she casually remembered the look on his face when she first kissed him. Oh, what a look that was indeed. And where oh where did he come up with the term 'truck stop slop?' she didn't think they were that bad.
Oh well. They were now parked and out of the truck when Brandy had slipped beside him in such a way that her slender hand was able to sneak into the back pocket of his blue jeans.
"Just be prepared to answer that famous question as how you like your eggs. I'll try to hold my tongue, and not tell them "fertilized"
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Post by Sam Merlotte on Sept 17, 2009 13:53:37 GMT -5
"Well, you are certainly my type. Maybe the whole town's type with the way you fill in a nice pair of blue jeans"
Sam almost blushed at her words. It was a compliment and compliments like that were few and far between for him. Well, that was until he met Brandy. He put an arm around her waist and smiled. "Well, I only need one type" he kissed the side of her head.
"Just be prepared to answer that famous question as how you like your eggs. I'll try to hold my tongue, and not tell them "fertilized"
Sam smiled again as she slipped a hand inside the back pocket of his jeans. Another new experience for him, a pretty nice experience too. An experience he could get used to. He took a few minutes to get what she said about the eggs. He threw her a sidelong glance and laughed almost uncomfortably. "No, definetly not fertilized."
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